Parents…I want to thank so many of you for coming to this truly life changing and challenging conference. We want ot make the shift from rasing a child to developing an adultso that they launch out of our homes successfully. I have heard from many of you who have done the assignments at the end of the conference and seen huge changes in the realtionship and your young peoples motivation.
It has also come to my attention that a number of you have tried to implement the changes on your side of the equation without doing the assignments 1 to 5 that were provided at the end of the conference. If this is you…. you are probably meeting some unexpected challenges and may be considering giving up.
Two things ot consider…
First, while your perspective may have changed about your role and approach….if you did not implement the assignments your pre-teen or teens perspective of you and how you approach them has not changed! Thus when you begin to just randomly begin asking them more questions and about their goals they likely hear them as here comes more expectations! Thus they push back becuase the frame work of the realtionship has not changed in their minds!
Second, the assignments are designed to restore the relationship even for those that think it has been going ok or even well…this should not be skipped. We have found that even if you have appologized along the way and the communication seems fairly open most young people are still reticent to communicate wiht their parents about everything. Changing the paradigm and letting them know you want to move into a new realtionship through these steps..a more adult relationship… will allow thme to jump into the change and self managment more willingly and lead to more internal desire upon their part more quickly.